It's the 23rd of July now, and I can't help but think how time flies so fast. To someone who's in a race against time, like I am, I can't help but feel a bit jittery whenever I look at the calendar and see that a certain month is about to pass.
When I was younger, I felt I had all the time in the world. At 21, I thought time was moving so slow. I had just graduated from my previous course, I had a 9-5 job, I had a steady and serious boyfriend who I always thought I'd end up with, in short, my life was all planned out. It all changed when one fine morning in 2004, my dad sat me down and asked me to quit my job and go back to school and enroll in Nursing. At first I was against it. At that moment, life was pretty much comfortable and predictable for me and I didn't want that to change. But I dunno if it was my dad's persistence or my unconscious desire for change that I finally gave in to his convincing. I was 24 at that time, and there I was, back in school. I traded my office suit and pumps to a white baby-collared button down blouse, white pants and a pair of white nursing shoes. And that's when the wheels of time suddenly went on full throttle and I felt like I had to run in order to keep up with the rat race. Day by day, I took on the challenges of juggling academics and the internship along with making time for a relationship and engaging in a little business venture on the side. I was in the zone, I had it all working out for me. And then, graduation came. That's when things started to go a little bit haywired.
Now it seems like I had everything working out for me, how could things go awry?
First off... after graduation, I woke up one day, and felt that I didn't love my boyfriend anymore. I tried to dismiss it, thought that it was just one of those phases in a relationship where you feel too comfortable and that things are just simmering down. Boy was I wrong. After months of brushing off these feelings towards him, it suddenly went full circle on me that I just couldn't do anything but face the reality. I had to break up with him. It was the most painful thing to do. Breaking the heart of the kindest guy I've known and been with for such a long time was the most agonizing, most atrocious act in the world, but I had to do it.
Second... I'm broke. I was stuck doing nothing but reviewing and taking exams ever since I graduated. My little business venture unfortunately, had to come to an end because my main source of income (my classmates) and I had to part ways. Currently tho, I have been doing this night market stint at a local hot spot and business is picking up. It has its ups and downs, but like I always say, that's how the wheels of business goes around.
Third... I had to overcome a lot of hurdles that came with this profession. After I graduated, I took the local board exam and earned my Nurses' License for my country. After that, I applied to take the licensure exam for nurses in the State of Vermont, and while waiting for my approval to take the exam, I enrolled in a review program for the said exam. In between the reviewing and waiting, I took the IELTS, an standardized English exam for people and students that don't speak English as their primary language. I didn't have enough preparation in terms of review for the said exam, but I'm thanking my God and my lucky stars that I was able to pass it and garnered an above average score. And finally, after nearly one year of reviewing, preparing and waiting for my NCLEX exam, I took it and passed it as well. So yeah... in a way, I'm all set to fly off, work abroad and leave the monotonous life I live here and start a new and hopefully, gratifying one. But lol... life always has a way of throwing you off your tracks. The global recession has taken it's toll on the world's economy, and it has greatly affected my plans and dreams. But that hasn't deterred me from pursuing my dreams. I'm still working on it, I have my Plan B, and even though I tend to backslide into my pessimistic tendencies, I'm doing my best to look at the brighter side of things. I have to, I have no choice. I've explored my opportunities of working in Australia, and with my father's approval and his financial support, I have applied for work out there, but there's a catch: I have to take yet, another exam. This time, a licensure exam for their country. And, like always, I have to wait for my approval to take the exam. And I dunno, I guess the waiting game's taking a toll on me and my tolerance because I'm getting really, really impatient. I want to take that exam already, for crying out loud! Take the exam, pass it, move to Australia and start my life. Damn....
And lastly... being the drama queen that I can be, I feel like I'm left behind in terms of career and achievements. Sure, I have my two degrees in Business and in Nursing, I have my licenses but I don't have anything I can see, touch or feel. Sure, I am proud and grateful of what I've accomplished so far, I may be unemployed at the moment, but I have my source of income. I'm making pretty good money off my night market stint but to me, I don't feel like they're the ultimate accomplishments. I want something more, something I want so fervently, but I have to wait. But every day spent waiting, is precious time that's lost.
And so.. I'm 28, I'm single, and still waiting...