Sunday, July 12, 2009
"Don't Count Your Chickens Til They're Hatched"; a very old, almost cliche, yet wise saying that always come to my mind whenever I embark on a new endeavor. I also keep reminding myself of that saying whenever someone makes a promise to me. Now I know you all are thinking, "why can't you, at least for once in your life, be optimistic and hope for the best?" Even I ask myself that question at least five times a day. I guess it all boils down to this: I just don't want to get ahead of myself again, thinking everything will be all peachy only to fall flat on my face when what I'm hoping for, or envisioning doesn't materialize. People may call this negativism, but I'd like to think of this as being rational. I'd like to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, instead of being swept away with promises of a fairy tale happy ending. I've succumbed to such notion in the past, got myself so absorbed into thinking situations and relationships can weather storms life sends in our way. But all of that came tumbling down on me when harsh reality set in. It felt like i got doused over the head with freezing water and left me dumbfounded. When the dust settled, I managed to pull myself together, got back on my feet and learned something new: cynicism. Another cliche saying comes to my mind again: "Whatever it is that doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." And that holds true to me. After going through all the stages of grieving over failed relationships, lost opportunities, wasted efforts, and broken promises I stood back up. A bit wobbly, still hurting but overall, a changed person, guarded and more resilient than before.
So what is all this ranting about going from being wide-eyed, naive person to becoming skeptical and wary all about? It's about a boy... haha I guess there are some things that never change. But this time, I'm not going to get ahead of myself. He made a promise to me and I'm not saying I don't believe him. I'm not getting my hopes up that he holds true to his promise either. If he does, then good, and thank God, he honored his promise to me. If he doesn't, then i can just shrug it off and go on with life. Life doesn't stop because of such trivial things such as broken promises and shattered illusions.