Today, it started out as a pretty good day. Today is the birthday of the guy I love. Unfortunately for me, he is a thousand miles away from me. Timezone and oceans separate us. And this just saddens me. It is his most special day, a thanksgiving to our Maker for sending such a wonderful person in this world. But distance and circumstances tore me away from him and excludes me from celebrating this special day with him.
At this moment, I am torn between a conflict of emotions. I'm feeling very happy and very melancholic. Happy, because a wonderful person came into my life, and for that, I feel so much joy that a person like him was born into this world to make someone, like me, happy to have him in my life. On the other hand, I feel quite sad, because I am not at his side on his most special day. I could not show him how thankful I am to have him. I could not give him a tight embrace and a kiss to show my affection. I feel so much love and affection for him, yet I could not show him and make him feel all the joy I have in my heart because he was born on this day.
Yes, I feel really lonely because of the distance. Nothing in this world can ever describe the feeling of being far from the person you love. And there is nothing more excruciating than not being able show the person just how thankful you are to have him in your life and how much he means to you. Thank God, I live in the modern age, the fiber optic age where distance can be bridged by a phone call, an e-mail or an SMS. I was able to talk to him today, briefly tho since international calls can really hurt one's phone bill. But still, I am grateful. To my consolation, I was able to hear his voice and was able to convey my greetings to him.
Although I feel quite sad, still I have a smile on my face. I chose to love this person despite the distance. I chose to remain in this complicated situation, no one forced me. At the end of the day, this man makes me smile and keeps me happy. He inspires me to become a better person, and work hard so that he and I can be together again. There are no guarantees, but at present, I am happy I have him.
In the end, that's all that matters. Happiness is a blessing, but it's also a personal choice. He is my happiness. So, despite the complexities of our situation, I hold on.
Happy birthday, Sunshine.